Diarrhea Song Lyrics (With History & Some New Humorous Diarrhea Songs)


The History of the Diarrhea Song

The song, which Ernie wrote about thirty years ago to pass the time on a long-distance phone call with his wife, celebrates what one might call “lifestyle diarrhea”- the kind that comes from having children and living a busy life.

This song is about how we all have moments where we need to “go” but end up not making it in time. It also touches on some other subjects like how many fun kids are and that people should not feel bad if they do not have as much time for themselves anymore because they are taking care of others.

  • There are two songs called ‘The Diarrhea Song’, one of which is claimed to be the original.
  • The first variation goes: Dickens, uh, um.
Diarrhea Song Lyrics

The Original Diarrhea Song Lyrics

When you’re sliding into first

And your pants begin to burst

That’s diarrhea, diarrhea

When you’re sliding into two

And your pants are filled with goo

That’s diarrhea, diarrhea

When you’re sliding into third

And you feel a greasy turd

That’s diarrhea, diarrhea

When you’re sliding into home

And your pants are filled with foam

That’s diarrhea, diarrhea

You’re getting in a state

cos’ you’ve left it very late

diarrhea diarrhea

It comes out of your bum

like a bullet from a gun

diarrhea diarrhea

runs down your leg

like a scrambled egg

diarrhea diarrhea

It’s not very funny

but it’s very hot and runny

diarrhea diarrhea

When you climbing up a ladder

and you hear something splatter

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diarrhea!! diarrhea!!

When you’re sitting down in class

and the teacher passes gas

diarrhea diarrhea

when you’re running from the police

and you feel that anal grease

diarrhea diarrhea

when your sitting in your chevy

and your pants feel heavy

Diarrhea diarrhea

When you’re sitting on the commode

and your butt starts to explode

diarrhea!! diarrhea!!

When you wake up early in the mournin’

Your spinchter starts explodin’

That’s diarrhea! diarrhea!

if you’re sitting in the pool

and you feel something cool

diarrhea diarrhea

when your crap starts to turn red

and you wish that you were dead

diarrhea diarrhea

When you’re exploding into the bowl

and there’s nothing left on the roll

oh shit..



When you’re runnin’ down the hall,

and you feel something fall,

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

When you eat your favorite dish,

and you feel something squish.

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

Just when you turn the page,

your bowels start to rage,

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

When you jump and do a flip,

but you feel something drip.

Diarrhea, diarrhea.

Some Humorous Made Up Lyrics of Diarrhea Song

The word diarrhea has a funny ring to it (but hygienically it’s so stupid and kind of offenses to the third world countries) , so when I found out that people actually sing songs about it, I was shocked. But when I thought about it some more, the song made me laugh. It is a catchy tune with lyrics that really make you think.

One of the most popular songs about diarrhea is “Dude Looks Like A Lady” by Eire. The song talks about how gross someone looks because they have diarrhea and they “don’t wanna get any closer than 20 feet”. These lyrics are funny because even if you don’t know what the song is talking about, you can tell that this person has something wrong with them and just wants to avoid them. This is funny because we don’t normally want to be near someone who doesn’t look good or smells bad.

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Here you go with the lyrics:

Diarrhea Funny Song Lyric.jpg

Diarrhea Song 01


I’m a little sick right now

Maybe I’m having an allergic reaction to the cheese I ate

I dunno, but this is serious

Seriously, I’m having a hard time holding this in

[Verse 1]

I ate a sourdough sandwich yesterday

Maybe it had some very fine lactose

My stomach’s starting to erupt

Looks like I’m gonna need some toilet paper, yeah

[Verse 2]

It’s Friday night, I drove past Taco Bell

And now I’m feeling sick again, oh no

I think it’s coming back out my bum, oh no

Diarrhea Song 02

[Intro and Hook]

She woke up feeling bad

Her stomach, upset

She asked her mom to stay home

Said she was embarrassed

The first thing she sees

You guessed it, aw

She’s got diarrhea!

[Verse 1]

Boots on the mat, she took her time

Went to the bathroom, tinkle tinkle

No time to wash her hands, didn’t care

She’s got Diarrhea!


She’s got Diarrhea!

Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

Diarrhea Song 03

I had a little bit of diarrhea

And it was really, really awful

The toilet got all filled up

And I had to take a wee-wee

I had a little bit of diarrhea

And it was really, really awful

I just couldn’t find the nearest bathroom

Someone said that they knew the way

I’m going home, I’m going home

I don’t want to give a speech

Diarrhea Song 04


I have a little something I’d like to say

This is not the usual you’re talking about

This is a story about diarrhea


It was a vacation day

I woke up feeling kinda sick

But I didn’t think it would be that bad

So I went on with my day

At the end of the day I felt a little better, see?

No big deal, it’s just a case of diarrhea

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Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea! Diarrhea!

Diarrhea, hahaha

Diarrhea Song 05



I got the (diarrhea)

Got the (diarrhea)

Watch out for (diarrhea)

You can’t stop it

You can’t stop it

When you got that (diarrhea)

There’s a new wind blowing like I’ve never known

I’m breathing deeper than I’ve ever done before

And I wanna love somebody

Love somebody like you


What are the words to the Diarrhea song in Parenthood?

The Diarrhea song is a memorable, yet disgusting, nursery rhyme sung by the older kids to scare their younger siblings.

The lyrics are as follows:

“We’re going to the zoo. We’re going to the zoo.

We’re going to see the monkeys and bears too.

But daddy says we can’t go if you’ve got -dee-arrhea.”

What is the baseball diarrhea song?

This song is sung by baseball fans when a player commits an error. It is a parody of the “Happy Birthday” song. The words are: “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (player), and many more! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (player), and many more!”

The most famous version of this song was sung by the Orioles fans about Cal Ripken Jr. when he played for them in 1995.

Billy K. Hicks

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